Straight guys have one thing going for them, other than the whole compulsive hetero tendency. Their wife or girlfriend comes with a utility belt. No matter where they go with their girl, they always will have plenty of medicine, paper, tissues, batteries, tape, pens, luggage tags, gloves, and novelty key chains. Woman always seem to have a bottomless purse with them with all sorts of very important, must have at all times items. Now if they would just stop sound proofing them so that cell phones can be heard at all times...
12/17/09
As a member of a younger generation, I hear a lot of those who came
before complaining about how little "kids today" learn. I got news, we
are products of someone else's system.
before complaining about how little "kids today" learn. I got news, we
are products of someone else's system.
One of my bosses is leaving for Dubai in a few weeks. I told a new
woman at work and she gave me this clueless look. Now this woman is in
her late fifties. "Dubai? In the middle east." "Where's that?" "The
middle east" I don't know how better to describe it. "Well what
state?" ohhhhh now I understand what happened here. "It's not a state.
Middle east of the planet." At this point I just gave up.
Kids today huh? Maybe it's just because kids today are the only ones
still graded on tests.
Sent from my iPhone
12/14/09
On the way to class, my morning cup of coffee got me thinking. Does it
take more time for a hot cup of coffee to reach room temperture than a
ice coffee to reach the same point? Going back to physics 101, any
change is actually a change in energy. Less energy means colder. So
the hot coffee is giving off energy to the system around it. I guess
this means that the real question is, how easily does air accept or
give energy? If air takes in energy faster than it gives off the hot
coffee would lose energy faster than the cold coffee would gain it,
meaning hot Joe cools faster. I didn't even touch the ice cubes in
iced coffee. I got to class to quickly. If you know the answer let me
know. I'm pretty sure my brother might.
take more time for a hot cup of coffee to reach room temperture than a
ice coffee to reach the same point? Going back to physics 101, any
change is actually a change in energy. Less energy means colder. So
the hot coffee is giving off energy to the system around it. I guess
this means that the real question is, how easily does air accept or
give energy? If air takes in energy faster than it gives off the hot
coffee would lose energy faster than the cold coffee would gain it,
meaning hot Joe cools faster. I didn't even touch the ice cubes in
iced coffee. I got to class to quickly. If you know the answer let me
know. I'm pretty sure my brother might.
Sent from my iPhone
12/3/09
Who's been observant? The past few posts have all been posted at 9:06. No I'm not that on schedule. Somethings up with my html or settings or I don't know what. Actually 11:15 right now.
11/16/09
Tonight at work I heard a song that reminded me of a CD I used to listen to as a kid. It was a lullaby compilation with a bunch of different songs on it. I really don't remember the whole CD and not really sure why the Christmas song reminded me of it but, something about the song made me think of "Teddy Bear Picnic". Sure some of you have heard the song, bunch of teddy bears go out into the woods and have a picnic in the middle of the night. Something about the song always gave me the willies. It just disturbed me when I was a kid and still rubs me the wrong way. Not specifically the lyrics I think. Although the idea that teddy bears get together while their owners sleep and go out into the woods at night has a scary cult like ring to it. Actually the slow pace and tune is what gets to me. Really listen to the tune, something just ain't right. This new song had the same slow lullaby melody to it. Can't stand that song still. *shiver*
"Is your name Jake?"
"Nope"
"Jake Allen?"
"Not me."
"You sure?
"Yeah I'm pretty sure"
"Nope"
"Jake Allen?"
"Not me."
"You sure?
"Yeah I'm pretty sure"
Now the guy keeps looking at me with this "your a liar" look on his
face. I'm not too sure anymore.
Sent from my iPhone
11/12/09
Been back about a week or so and want to go back. Nay, I want to move. It was so lovely, big, and busy. I fell in love with the city. I belong in a big city with lots of strangers and crowds.
Lets see. Saw the Golden Gate, Wharf, lots of seals, crazy homeless people who throw beer bottles, street cars (first time on one), scary drag queens, awesome parks, beautiful churches, subway cars (another first), and lots and lots of hills (what Texans call mountains).
I think this was the only vacation that I actually lost weight. We probably walked an average of seven miles a day. The majority of these were wondering around lost. You would think going to a city with someone that has actually lived there before means not getting totally turned around. Well that would require your traveling partner having some sense of direction. After a certain point I just stopped asking him where we were going. I wouldn't of picked another person however to end up in the public housing projects with. "Lets just get a taxi" "Well we could if they weren't afraid to drive down this road. Maybe we should start running."
The Castro provided an endless amount of ummm interesting? people. Something to keep in mind, no matter what kind of facial expression she has on or how hopeless she looks, don't tell a drag queen that she "looks confused". I don't care how you mean it, I promise she won't be pleased. Also Market Street on Halloween, not a family friendly location. Yes, there are bright festive colors everywhere and the gay laughter is a little misleading. But kid appropriate it is not. "That's not a costume, he's just naked."
I didn't take nearly as many photos as I had hoped. Just got busy and didn't carry much around with me. Had a blast though and came away with a lot of stories. I want to move.
Lets see. Saw the Golden Gate, Wharf, lots of seals, crazy homeless people who throw beer bottles, street cars (first time on one), scary drag queens, awesome parks, beautiful churches, subway cars (another first), and lots and lots of hills (what Texans call mountains).
I think this was the only vacation that I actually lost weight. We probably walked an average of seven miles a day. The majority of these were wondering around lost. You would think going to a city with someone that has actually lived there before means not getting totally turned around. Well that would require your traveling partner having some sense of direction. After a certain point I just stopped asking him where we were going. I wouldn't of picked another person however to end up in the public housing projects with. "Lets just get a taxi" "Well we could if they weren't afraid to drive down this road. Maybe we should start running."
The Castro provided an endless amount of ummm interesting? people. Something to keep in mind, no matter what kind of facial expression she has on or how hopeless she looks, don't tell a drag queen that she "looks confused". I don't care how you mean it, I promise she won't be pleased. Also Market Street on Halloween, not a family friendly location. Yes, there are bright festive colors everywhere and the gay laughter is a little misleading. But kid appropriate it is not. "That's not a costume, he's just naked."
I didn't take nearly as many photos as I had hoped. Just got busy and didn't carry much around with me. Had a blast though and came away with a lot of stories. I want to move.
11/8/09
I admit, I'm pretty full of myself. I mean I think I'm rather special. I deeply hope however that if I ever turn into one of those people that is all about themselves that one of my friends will hit me upside the head and tell me to cut it out.
I have a friend, well I'm not to sure they are that much of a "friend", that turns every freaking conversation into something about themselves. "and as my plane was going down over the Atlantic ocean--" " I really hate flying. Everytime I get on a plane I get all sick. Me Me Me I I I" It drives ME crazy. Just want to turn to them and ask if everything really has to be about them. I'm probably overly sensitive about this whole thing. I know everyone wants to share some story or part of their life. And I get that not everyone cares to hear about my life or my story. I truly get it. But sometimes I want to be able to say something without having to listen to them go on about their freaking puppy for two hours. I swear, if I get into one of the schools I want to get into, within 10 seconds of telling this certain someone my great news, I'll have to listen to how they lost their favorite pair of socks at some crazy party the night before.
I have a friend, well I'm not to sure they are that much of a "friend", that turns every freaking conversation into something about themselves. "and as my plane was going down over the Atlantic ocean--" " I really hate flying. Everytime I get on a plane I get all sick. Me Me Me I I I" It drives ME crazy. Just want to turn to them and ask if everything really has to be about them. I'm probably overly sensitive about this whole thing. I know everyone wants to share some story or part of their life. And I get that not everyone cares to hear about my life or my story. I truly get it. But sometimes I want to be able to say something without having to listen to them go on about their freaking puppy for two hours. I swear, if I get into one of the schools I want to get into, within 10 seconds of telling this certain someone my great news, I'll have to listen to how they lost their favorite pair of socks at some crazy party the night before.
So after a lot of back and forth here's the final list. Stanford,
Yale, Northwestern, Michigan, and Boston. All have great sociology
programs that can be aimed toward gender and sexuality studies.
Hopefully I get into more than one and can pick. Cross your fingers
and do that voodo you do. Everything is turned in and taken care of.
Now just have to wait and see.
Yale, Northwestern, Michigan, and Boston. All have great sociology
programs that can be aimed toward gender and sexuality studies.
Hopefully I get into more than one and can pick. Cross your fingers
and do that voodo you do. Everything is turned in and taken care of.
Now just have to wait and see.
Sent from my iPhone
Finally leaving San Antonio for Austin. Fly to San Fran tomorrow
morning.
morning.
Sent from my iPhone
10/27/09
October 11th is coming up. If you didn't know, that's official coming out day as decreed by the queers in power. The whole "coming out" process is a emotionally draining, difficult, agonizing process that is totally worth it and life changing. It's a deeply personal choice and one that has to be tackled with great sincerity. Personally, I wish I had done it sooner, my family and friends are awesome and I was greatly surprised. That said....Come out of the closet!!!
Sociology has taught us that coming out is great for the community at large. Its a huge step in the right direction for the entire Alphabet Soup (LGBTQAITAP) community. I know some of you guys and gals hate the whole community thing, hate being part of the group with ferries and flamers, but I hate to break it to you, your one of us. The Cohert Effect says that people who have a gay friend are more likely to accept the whole life style. Imagine that. If someone has a gay friend they seem to realize that we aren't all pedophiles and Satan worshipers who recruit little boys (I've heard that argument first hand). Its part of the whole Pride ideology; become visible in your communities, don't act like you are ashamed, and others (hopefully straight people as well) will follow.
I encourage all my gay friends to come out if they are able. Come out to your friends, family, strangers, dog. I know it's not that simple always, but sometimes that "they'll hate me, they'll abandon me" excuse is just that, an excuse. If that's you, take advantage of October 11th, take advantage of the excuse that everyone else is doing it, take advantage of this opportunity to better our community and act together.
Sociology has taught us that coming out is great for the community at large. Its a huge step in the right direction for the entire Alphabet Soup (LGBTQAITAP) community. I know some of you guys and gals hate the whole community thing, hate being part of the group with ferries and flamers, but I hate to break it to you, your one of us. The Cohert Effect says that people who have a gay friend are more likely to accept the whole life style. Imagine that. If someone has a gay friend they seem to realize that we aren't all pedophiles and Satan worshipers who recruit little boys (I've heard that argument first hand). Its part of the whole Pride ideology; become visible in your communities, don't act like you are ashamed, and others (hopefully straight people as well) will follow.
I encourage all my gay friends to come out if they are able. Come out to your friends, family, strangers, dog. I know it's not that simple always, but sometimes that "they'll hate me, they'll abandon me" excuse is just that, an excuse. If that's you, take advantage of October 11th, take advantage of the excuse that everyone else is doing it, take advantage of this opportunity to better our community and act together.
10/8/09
The mud is everywhere!!! I lost one of the two pairs of shoes I brought with me to Austin. By the time I got to them they were rank. The other pair just got a good bath, but alas the yellow converse are smashed in the trash compacter now. Sad face.
The three days at ACL were awesome. First day was nice and cool. The grass was sweet. I actually told someone it was the softest grass I've ever felt. None of that itchy crap. The second day however was a biblical storm. It poured. I think I gained ten pounds of water weight just from my shirt. The third day was a freaking mess. I've never seen more mud in my life. Three inches throughout the whole park. It was so wet however none of it ever stuck to your shoes, and the cleanest mud you'll ever see. One of my friends drove by the day after and said the entire park looked like a rodeo pit. There goes the new and improved park.
Best performance out of the whole weekend had to be the last I saw. The Dead Weather was beyond words, but I'll try. I've never seen a better set. The crowd was kind of dull at first, I don't think they had heard them before. The girl from The Kills, Allison Mosshart, had to be on something. I'm not talking the weed half the crowd was on, but the heavy shit. She was freaking out, laying on the stage, and generally going crazy. If she was at church someone might of said she was possessed by the Holy Ghost or the devil. At one point she stopped singing and just danced around. Sounds horrible I know but the performance was spectacular.
So in all the weekend was a total success. Saw a man crowd surf in green latex from head to toe. Had a homeless guy ask for some spare change "for a crack rock". Spent some time with good friends and made some new ones.
Oh and the bands I saw so you can see how cool I am:
The Knux, Avett Brothers, Coheed and Cambria, Thievery Corporation, Kings of Leon, Citizen Cope, Mos Def, Ghostland Observatory, Here We Go Magic, B-52's, White Lies, Arctic Monkeys, Toadies, and The Dead Weather.
The three days at ACL were awesome. First day was nice and cool. The grass was sweet. I actually told someone it was the softest grass I've ever felt. None of that itchy crap. The second day however was a biblical storm. It poured. I think I gained ten pounds of water weight just from my shirt. The third day was a freaking mess. I've never seen more mud in my life. Three inches throughout the whole park. It was so wet however none of it ever stuck to your shoes, and the cleanest mud you'll ever see. One of my friends drove by the day after and said the entire park looked like a rodeo pit. There goes the new and improved park.
Best performance out of the whole weekend had to be the last I saw. The Dead Weather was beyond words, but I'll try. I've never seen a better set. The crowd was kind of dull at first, I don't think they had heard them before. The girl from The Kills, Allison Mosshart, had to be on something. I'm not talking the weed half the crowd was on, but the heavy shit. She was freaking out, laying on the stage, and generally going crazy. If she was at church someone might of said she was possessed by the Holy Ghost or the devil. At one point she stopped singing and just danced around. Sounds horrible I know but the performance was spectacular.
So in all the weekend was a total success. Saw a man crowd surf in green latex from head to toe. Had a homeless guy ask for some spare change "for a crack rock". Spent some time with good friends and made some new ones.
Oh and the bands I saw so you can see how cool I am:
The Knux, Avett Brothers, Coheed and Cambria, Thievery Corporation, Kings of Leon, Citizen Cope, Mos Def, Ghostland Observatory, Here We Go Magic, B-52's, White Lies, Arctic Monkeys, Toadies, and The Dead Weather.
10/5/09
You ever have one of those friends who takes the fun out of
everything. "I just got a new puppy!" "He'll probably pee everywhere"
"I can't wait to see that movie." "You'll hate the ending where she
dies" Do they not realize that they ruin everything or is it on
purpose. After awhile you just want to give up and not tell them
anything. They'll just destroy it.
everything. "I just got a new puppy!" "He'll probably pee everywhere"
"I can't wait to see that movie." "You'll hate the ending where she
dies" Do they not realize that they ruin everything or is it on
purpose. After awhile you just want to give up and not tell them
anything. They'll just destroy it.
Sent from my iPhone
9/16/09
New and improved, pre punched copy paper! That's right boys and girls.
No longer go through all the trouble of pressing down on a hole punch.
For a small additional charge you van have your multipurpose paper
professionaly prepared for any three ring binder. Great for the
parapligic on the go or cronicly weak. Pick up a pack at your local
campus bookstore. Hurry, cause with quality holes like these, supplies
aren't going to last long.
No longer go through all the trouble of pressing down on a hole punch.
For a small additional charge you van have your multipurpose paper
professionaly prepared for any three ring binder. Great for the
parapligic on the go or cronicly weak. Pick up a pack at your local
campus bookstore. Hurry, cause with quality holes like these, supplies
aren't going to last long.
Sent from my iPhone
9/8/09
If you've read my blog before you know I have a little issue with cell
phones in the bathroom. It's no place to have a conversation. The over
day however a student took it to a whole new level. He was standing at
the urinal next to me texting. I didn't directly look, just saw him
out of the corner of my eye. I can only assume he was texting in one
hand and taking aim with the other. I know it's not exactly the same
as being on the phone. Nobodys gunna be wondering why your typing
sounds all echoie. Just because it only takes one hand to pee however
is no reason to use the other hand for multitasking. How important can
that text really be that it can't wait 60 seconds at most?
phones in the bathroom. It's no place to have a conversation. The over
day however a student took it to a whole new level. He was standing at
the urinal next to me texting. I didn't directly look, just saw him
out of the corner of my eye. I can only assume he was texting in one
hand and taking aim with the other. I know it's not exactly the same
as being on the phone. Nobodys gunna be wondering why your typing
sounds all echoie. Just because it only takes one hand to pee however
is no reason to use the other hand for multitasking. How important can
that text really be that it can't wait 60 seconds at most?
Sent from my iPhone
9/3/09
It's back to school time here. Back to reading stupid books and stupid
people. Most importantly, back to dealing with kids my age that are
way into themselves or think they are so damn special and unique. I've
only been to class a few times so far, only have class two days a
week, but am already over one of my 75 minute classes. It's an
anthropology class and as every college student knows, the anthro kids
are a little different. They seem to internalize the whole primitive
thing; going days wihout a bath or growing they're dredlocks out past
they're ass. Maybe they are just practicing for later field work.
Either way I left class feeling dirty and icky. I'm sure people
mistook me for "one of them" for the rest of the day. Sitting through
that class is like mixing art school with a third world refugee camp.
Luckily it's at the end of the day and I can rush home to disinfect
and delouse myself.
people. Most importantly, back to dealing with kids my age that are
way into themselves or think they are so damn special and unique. I've
only been to class a few times so far, only have class two days a
week, but am already over one of my 75 minute classes. It's an
anthropology class and as every college student knows, the anthro kids
are a little different. They seem to internalize the whole primitive
thing; going days wihout a bath or growing they're dredlocks out past
they're ass. Maybe they are just practicing for later field work.
Either way I left class feeling dirty and icky. I'm sure people
mistook me for "one of them" for the rest of the day. Sitting through
that class is like mixing art school with a third world refugee camp.
Luckily it's at the end of the day and I can rush home to disinfect
and delouse myself.
Sent from my iPhone
I've been back in SA for a few days now. Not much going on and don't go back to work until Monday. I did go to the gym this morning however. When I got back a bunch of people were in my living room. It wasn't like a party or anything, but they had moved a bunch of stuff into the living room. There is no floor anymore, only bags. Hmmmm. Later in the day, I was leaving to get something to eat. On the couch a kid is sleeping. One of my roommates? No, one of the guys moving into my living room. It's like having squatters in your living room. Little awkward but they have nowhere else to go I guess. I move the fifth, can't complain too much.
7/31/09
Two days ago I spent over 40 minutes in a little rectangular box with three other people. We bonded, talked, and generally sat and waited for someone to come fix the elevator. One of the girls started to freak out when the box stopped somewhere between the first and second floor. I just thought, "everyone should get stuck in an elevator at least once in their life." Wasn't a traumatic experience really. We got a little worried however when we used the speaker in the elevator to call the front desk and their response was, "ummm ok we'll get someone on that. click." Twenty minutes later we had heard nothing from them so we called back. "Oh yeah well we are going to have to call maintenance to come in and look at the elevator." What? You didn't call someone the first time we told you we were stuck in mid air? Guess the four people stuck in the elevator wasn't a top priority for them.
7/21/09
"You have a new app! You have a new post on your wall! But wait there's one more thing you need to delete again and again and again!" I've had it with Facebook. It drives me crazy, and I don't even get on it that often. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if I could just have the account and just ignore the website completely except for once every other month. Then some person comes up to me and is all "Hey I added you on Facebook why haven't you approved me?" They get all hurt like our friendship doesn't mean a thing if I don't go on the interweb and validate it.
Right now I have about 290 friends. Hate to admit it but I really don't have near that amount of friends. I don't even think I know the names of that many people. I really want to just delete the entire account, but then I'll get that "wtf is wrong with you" look when someone finds out that I don't have a pointless waste of time profile on a parasitic website.
Right now I have about 290 friends. Hate to admit it but I really don't have near that amount of friends. I don't even think I know the names of that many people. I really want to just delete the entire account, but then I'll get that "wtf is wrong with you" look when someone finds out that I don't have a pointless waste of time profile on a parasitic website.
7/14/09
The Starbucks guy just made me feel like an ass for no reason. I had a
bunch of ones on me so I decided to pay with cash. Four dollars to pay
a 3.84 bill. I hand him the money and he just stares at me after
taking it. "Did you want the reciept?" "No, just the change." "oh, one
sec. Here's your 16 cents." Then he gives me this look of total
contempt. Not a big chunk of cash and honestly I really didn't care to
have the three coins clinking in my pocket all day. But he didn't even
ask! "Would you like your change?" I would of said no and then taken
my coffee and that would of been the end of our transaction. But
noooooooo.
bunch of ones on me so I decided to pay with cash. Four dollars to pay
a 3.84 bill. I hand him the money and he just stares at me after
taking it. "Did you want the reciept?" "No, just the change." "oh, one
sec. Here's your 16 cents." Then he gives me this look of total
contempt. Not a big chunk of cash and honestly I really didn't care to
have the three coins clinking in my pocket all day. But he didn't even
ask! "Would you like your change?" I would of said no and then taken
my coffee and that would of been the end of our transaction. But
noooooooo.
7/10/09
Ok, Pride month is almost officially over. In my circle it's not really that big of a deal. Half my friends are breeder, that's what we call you guys, and the other half couldn't care less about the whole ordeal. So with that said, the closest I got to any kind of Pride event thingy was driving down a street in Houston, in Montrose (the gay district), and seeing people linning up for a parade. And in that moment, playing the "B or G" game, I realized I really don't like our flag. A rainbow? Really? There's so many other options, why a rainbow? I know the history behind it, I've done my homework, and passed the membership test. Can't we come up with something that has a little more umph behind it? How about a lambda? Greek Spartans used it for "unity" and Romans saw it as saying "the light of knowledge shining into the darkness of ignorance." See, so much better than the sissy rainbow.
Soooooo hope everyone had a fun, happy, safe month. Stonewall was forty years ago today, fyi. Come a long way in that time. Tomorrow the White House is supposed to open its doors to a few leaders in the community. Maybe they'll get an explanation for the horrific defense of the DOMA released a few weeks ago that compared gay marriage to incest and pedophilia. Maybe? "Fierce advocate"...Anyone?
Soooooo hope everyone had a fun, happy, safe month. Stonewall was forty years ago today, fyi. Come a long way in that time. Tomorrow the White House is supposed to open its doors to a few leaders in the community. Maybe they'll get an explanation for the horrific defense of the DOMA released a few weeks ago that compared gay marriage to incest and pedophilia. Maybe? "Fierce advocate"...Anyone?
6/28/09
Michael Jackson died today. No matter if you liked him or not, his
music changed the world's culture.
music changed the world's culture.
6/25/09
Part of Social Physiology says that we all have very real, biological emotional responses. Our heart rates speed up or slow down, we sweat, our eyes dilate, hormonal changes occur in the brain. These are all very physical and biological, not really what sociology deals with I know, stay with me. While we all have the same emotions, its been proven; seven are universal, what we call them or recognize these biological changes as varies. We label what we experience as love, hate, fear, sickness.
Imagine two bridges. One is over a very shallow creek, maybe a foot bellow the bridge. The other is over a deep canyon. Now place two identical twins at one side of each. Ask some guys, or girls, or whatever, to cross the bridge and go toward the girl, or guy, or whatever on the opposite side. Those who go over the "dangerous" fall will be more likely to find the person on the other side attractive. Now part of this is they had to take a harder journey to get there, but most of it is the label they are giving to their emotions. They're heart rate increases, blood starts flowing, and chemicals start causing very real biological changes. Is this fear or a kind of physical attraction? In our society, both of these labels for emotions have the same physical meanings.
So what? What good is this to you? Well boys and girls, think about the study, and it is a real study, next time you go on a first date. You got a crush on a girl, boy, whatever, and you take them to the movies for your first date. Do you take them to a chick flick, the standard romantic first date movie, or something with a little more boom? If you can get their heart beating with some good chase scenes and explosions you are more likely to get a good night kiss. They might label the physical emotions as something you created and give you the credit. Manipulative? Nah, science is your friend, take advantage of it.
Imagine two bridges. One is over a very shallow creek, maybe a foot bellow the bridge. The other is over a deep canyon. Now place two identical twins at one side of each. Ask some guys, or girls, or whatever, to cross the bridge and go toward the girl, or guy, or whatever on the opposite side. Those who go over the "dangerous" fall will be more likely to find the person on the other side attractive. Now part of this is they had to take a harder journey to get there, but most of it is the label they are giving to their emotions. They're heart rate increases, blood starts flowing, and chemicals start causing very real biological changes. Is this fear or a kind of physical attraction? In our society, both of these labels for emotions have the same physical meanings.
So what? What good is this to you? Well boys and girls, think about the study, and it is a real study, next time you go on a first date. You got a crush on a girl, boy, whatever, and you take them to the movies for your first date. Do you take them to a chick flick, the standard romantic first date movie, or something with a little more boom? If you can get their heart beating with some good chase scenes and explosions you are more likely to get a good night kiss. They might label the physical emotions as something you created and give you the credit. Manipulative? Nah, science is your friend, take advantage of it.
6/20/09
I found two stomach muscles today. Was just out of the shower and thought "shit I'm you can see where my rib cage ends" Nope! You can see where I have two muscles right below my rib cage. I'd show you but it would be rather hard to see and my mom would freak out. But yeah needless to say the trips to the gym, actually doing some good. TMI?
Last night I asked a few friends for date suggestions. I wanted to
take someone out but had no clue where to start. Within minutes I
started talking to a long lost friend about the guy. Go figure, we
were dating the same one. "I'm just not good at doing relationships."
Shit. He's got two more than most people have going. I must be a
cheater's worst nightmare. With the social networks I have it's almost
impossible to get away from my six degrees circle. "I didn't want to
hurt anyone but ended up hurting everyone." Thats so cheesy you just
have to smile. Single is getting to be rather comfy from my point of
view. By the way, have some great date ideas if anyone needs one.
Laura wins I think though.
take someone out but had no clue where to start. Within minutes I
started talking to a long lost friend about the guy. Go figure, we
were dating the same one. "I'm just not good at doing relationships."
Shit. He's got two more than most people have going. I must be a
cheater's worst nightmare. With the social networks I have it's almost
impossible to get away from my six degrees circle. "I didn't want to
hurt anyone but ended up hurting everyone." Thats so cheesy you just
have to smile. Single is getting to be rather comfy from my point of
view. By the way, have some great date ideas if anyone needs one.
Laura wins I think though.
6/15/09
Maybe it's a small town thing. Maybe a western thing. I just held a
door open for a kid my age and got a "thank you son." Kids are weird.
door open for a kid my age and got a "thank you son." Kids are weird.
6/12/09
Damn you San Antonio!!! Somehow, somewhere I've picked up the habit of saying Chico or Chica, depending on the situation. I'm sure I'm not using them right or in the right places but these two words are now officially in my vocab. I think it's the SA equivalent of saying dude or bro.
6/8/09
I'm kind of at a Sociology boot camp for going onto Grad school. There's about seven of us Soc kids here and we spend a lot of time together during the week, I mean we live within a couple of inches of each other. The group is pretty racily diverse with a variety of social backgrounds. I always have been pretty open minded and equal rights oriented, no matter the group, but the last week or so has really been a great opportunity. Class is great but the conversations outside the academic setting are even better. Ebonics, the N word, covert racism, equal opportunities and movies. We can all have an opinion and argue it but nobody gets mad. We acknowledge that different ideas make the world work.
I did notice the other day, to an outside some of our conversations would sound rather bigoted and racist. We tell jokes that could be taken wrong if out of context. Walking around campus I'm sure we are a sight, a bunch of black kids, a Hispanic, and a white kid. The jokes got me thinking though. With such an obvious difference in race and heritage the humor is a way of addressing that possible barrier and tearing it down. Humor allows us to confront a possible divide and bridge it. We see the differences between us and respect them but aren't going to let them get in the way of conversation and exchange of ideas. Already I can see myself missing this atmosphere and wishing that more of the world could see race as sociologist do.
"People need to see that, far from being an obstacle, the world’s diversity of languages, religions, and traditions is a great treasure, affording us precious opportunities to recognize ourselves in others.”
I did notice the other day, to an outside some of our conversations would sound rather bigoted and racist. We tell jokes that could be taken wrong if out of context. Walking around campus I'm sure we are a sight, a bunch of black kids, a Hispanic, and a white kid. The jokes got me thinking though. With such an obvious difference in race and heritage the humor is a way of addressing that possible barrier and tearing it down. Humor allows us to confront a possible divide and bridge it. We see the differences between us and respect them but aren't going to let them get in the way of conversation and exchange of ideas. Already I can see myself missing this atmosphere and wishing that more of the world could see race as sociologist do.
"People need to see that, far from being an obstacle, the world’s diversity of languages, religions, and traditions is a great treasure, affording us precious opportunities to recognize ourselves in others.”
| — | Youssou N’Dour |
6/7/09
I hate when people do the whole "I don't really feel. I'm a very numb
person." It just cries drama and needy. I'm not a very emotional
person. You'll never catch me crying during a movie, like some of my
friends, or yelling at some idiot on the road. But the whole numb
thing is just a little over the top. How many people actually hear
this and don't think "omg get over your 21st century feely self."
Between Dr. Phil and the medication as candy for kids, our society
seems to have gone too far on this self exploratory kick. If you feel
your numb try a smile or a little five min. vacation. We're not all
suffering from post tramatic stress due to modern culture.
person." It just cries drama and needy. I'm not a very emotional
person. You'll never catch me crying during a movie, like some of my
friends, or yelling at some idiot on the road. But the whole numb
thing is just a little over the top. How many people actually hear
this and don't think "omg get over your 21st century feely self."
Between Dr. Phil and the medication as candy for kids, our society
seems to have gone too far on this self exploratory kick. If you feel
your numb try a smile or a little five min. vacation. We're not all
suffering from post tramatic stress due to modern culture.
6/5/09
So here I am in a new town, at a new school, with a new circle. Can't say it's all good but not much to complain about really. Really looking forward to what the next couple of months will bring and the road I'm heading down. Every time I start a new school or move to a new place it's like a new adventure. Not knowing anyone or anything before I get there, I go in blind and expecting anything. Some people really hate starting over and not knowing what lies behind the next corner. I absolutly love it! The last few days have been great and exciting. All in all a good experience so far.
6/2/09
Driving in the middle of nowhere, between Dallas and College Station,
listening to Praire Home music, reading billboards like "stop the porn
and get reborn -Jesus", I can't help but love Texas.
listening to Praire Home music, reading billboards like "stop the porn
and get reborn -Jesus", I can't help but love Texas.
5/31/09
I noticed something odd the other day, driving from San antonio to
Dallas. I listen to the radio a lot. No, that's not the odd thing.
What I noticed was that Dallas has so many more Mexican music stations
than San Antonio ever thought of having. Little Mexico is far behind
on it's English/Spanish ratio when it comes to the dial. In a city
with such a large illegal population, yeah I said it, you would think
they would own more space on the airwaves. The Spanish stations almost
equal the gheto ones. You all know the ones I'm talking about.
Stations that require the listener to have no more than four years of
education and an uncanny ability to butcher the English language. In
Dallas big booty dance music rules the radio.
Dallas. I listen to the radio a lot. No, that's not the odd thing.
What I noticed was that Dallas has so many more Mexican music stations
than San Antonio ever thought of having. Little Mexico is far behind
on it's English/Spanish ratio when it comes to the dial. In a city
with such a large illegal population, yeah I said it, you would think
they would own more space on the airwaves. The Spanish stations almost
equal the gheto ones. You all know the ones I'm talking about.
Stations that require the listener to have no more than four years of
education and an uncanny ability to butcher the English language. In
Dallas big booty dance music rules the radio.
5/28/09
Walking out of Target I overheard a man on the phone. He was standing
next to the endcap talking very exictedly. "I'm here at Target and you
wouldn't believe the deal I'm looking at. Three tubes of toothpaste
for four dollars. Yeah, and they're the big tubes. It's an awesome
deal...I know"
next to the endcap talking very exictedly. "I'm here at Target and you
wouldn't believe the deal I'm looking at. Three tubes of toothpaste
for four dollars. Yeah, and they're the big tubes. It's an awesome
deal...I know"
Sometimes I wish I was so easily excited. 99 cents for a bottle of
water? Sold! Think of how much each day would rock.
5/24/09
If it was the 18th century I would write an ode to my iPhone and I'm
sure a lot of people are with me on that one.
sure a lot of people are with me on that one.
5/18/09
If you have an iPhone you know the spell check can be a little off at
times. Telling someone to duck off just doesn't have the same passion
that was intended. Today my phone finally started to get me. I mean
it's about time, we only spend 24/7 together. The word "dis", as in
"who is dis" is now an acceptable word. Him and I are now bff's, not
to be confussed with bffl's. That would just be akward. Who needs
guys? I got my iPhone. He won't be a jerk and is always there for me.
It's not an unhealthy relationship, I love my iPhone.
times. Telling someone to duck off just doesn't have the same passion
that was intended. Today my phone finally started to get me. I mean
it's about time, we only spend 24/7 together. The word "dis", as in
"who is dis" is now an acceptable word. Him and I are now bff's, not
to be confussed with bffl's. That would just be akward. Who needs
guys? I got my iPhone. He won't be a jerk and is always there for me.
It's not an unhealthy relationship, I love my iPhone.
If we weren't dating and nowhere near a relationship, why does it feel like I just got dumped? You keep them at arms length, trying to keep emotions in check, then you let your walls down and they fall back. What gives? I get tired of being cynical sometimes but then stuff like this happens and I'm glad for my attitude. It keeps these times at a minumum and makes them worth the hurt. My friends keep saying stuff like, "they're a jerk, they don't deserve you" but if that was the case the whole situation would be much easier to deal with. The places have been reversed before, I know where they're coming from, I understand it all. Still doesn't make it easier.
I know it will go away, I know there will be others, other good times and other bad times. I get all that. I understand its not the end of the world, I don't need people telling me that or trying to be supportive. I'm ok...really. Just kind of a bummer when things don't work out how you would like. What a beautiful day out though. That always helps. ha
I know it will go away, I know there will be others, other good times and other bad times. I get all that. I understand its not the end of the world, I don't need people telling me that or trying to be supportive. I'm ok...really. Just kind of a bummer when things don't work out how you would like. What a beautiful day out though. That always helps. ha
5/15/09
A family of four are sitting next to me at Whataburger. I'm sure it
started off as a good idea. The whole family going out together and
eating on Sunday. The thing is every one of them is talking on a cell
phone. They're all together but are all talking to someone not
present. I'm sure the parents sigh and wish they had more time
together and that the family's days weren't so hectic. That they had
more time together as a family and they're kids didn't grow up so fast.
started off as a good idea. The whole family going out together and
eating on Sunday. The thing is every one of them is talking on a cell
phone. They're all together but are all talking to someone not
present. I'm sure the parents sigh and wish they had more time
together and that the family's days weren't so hectic. That they had
more time together as a family and they're kids didn't grow up so fast.
5/10/09
I hate watching the news. I hate reading the headlines. It's all designed to scare the shit out of you. "Swine Flu Kills" "Ex-Cop Murders His Wife" "Are You Snoring Yourself To Death?" Basically you should be afraid to walk outside in public, without wearing a mask like an Asian business man. Run away from cops, well maybe only if your married to one. If that wasn't scary enough, don't go to sleep. You might be killing yourself by breathing at night. Yeah we all know bad news sells. Media tries to sensationalize everything and increase profits. Haven't they started to get a little carried away though? I know some really smart people who have started to buy into all this "end of the world" crap.
5/7/09
It's a good day. Didn't sleep much last night but I think I'll make it
through. Heading to work now. It's warm outside, a good hair day, and
nothing to complain about. Life is good.
through. Heading to work now. It's warm outside, a good hair day, and
nothing to complain about. Life is good.
5/3/09
I've been sick for a few days now. Runny nose and gunk. No fever, no aches, none of that stuff. I finally broke down and went to CVS for some drugs. I hate getting drugs, so rather just chug orange juice. I think I totally freaked out the clerk though. I walk in wearing pj bottoms and a sweatshirt. He's probably thinking, " great, here comes sicky with his Mexican Swine Flu and he's gunna kill us all." I don't have swine flu, everyone keeps asking me that or running away when I sniffle. I won't kill you I promise. Damn I hate being sick, it totally sucks.
5/1/09
Check it out if your not already there. Did a little reworking of the blog. Tell me what you think.
4/28/09
It has been three days now without the sun. No rain today but still no sunshine to dry up the puddles left a few days ago. I'm starting to get a little gloomy here. Today I just feel yuk and blah. Like a day spent in front of the TV watching cartoons for hours on end. I need the sun back!
That was an interesting night. Went to a friend's birthday part at his house. Now keep in mind, he plays for the same team as I do and most of the people there do as well. Everyone is getting along, having a good time, being a little too loud for the neighbor's liking. So one of the four straight boys there gets asked if he likes the boys or girls. It's a common question with my friends since we mix pretty well and often.
The dude gets offended and for the next hour goes down the "I'm straight and better than you queers" road. Keeps saying how "you guys" are this and that. I have enough and the rest of us are like WTF? We get it. I tell him to chill and just have fun. Nobody cares one way or the other and nobody is coming on to him.
Apparently this is too much for him to handle. "I'll kill you like Mathew Sheaperd." Dead silence. Now if you don't know this, that's no laughing matter. The whole getting killed thing. Basically the whole night falls apart from that point on.
FYI stuff like that isn't funny. It's not ok. It doesn't establish that your straight just that your a prick ass. We don't care who you like or don't like. When in mixed company expect some questions. And just because you don't like the other sex doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself or deal with guys who are too macho for their own good.
4/27/09
You ever cross a busy street and a car stops to let you get across. In a gesture of thanks, "thanks for not denting you hood with my upper body and sending my shoes flying through the air," you stick your hand up, send them a little wave, and quietly say "thanks". Not like they can hear you say thank you. I usually say it so quiet that I can barely hear myself. You don't want to scream "Thank You!" at them because then everyone will think your freaking crazy. But it's more than just mouthing it. There's actual sound coming out. Why the hell do I do that. For now on they just get a little wave and smile. "Thank you for not hitting me with your giant truck, it would really ruin both our days if you hit me."
4/20/09
It's strange how much movies can affect our lives. A little over two hours of scenes tied together and they can stick with us the rest of our lives. I realized today that every milestone in my life is highlighted by a film. My first kiss, RENT. My first real relationship, Hedwig. My freshman year is Harald and Mod. Going back to senior year, I'm reminded of talking llamas. All these movies remind me of a certain time in my life. Every time I watch them or hear one of their songs it reminds me of the people and things in the past.
4/18/09
You know that little Red Bull car that drives around town, it has the huge can on the back? Driving back from the gas station, one was leaving my apartment complex. In the seat next to me I had a bag full of Monster cans. I had stocked up, they had a sell 3 for $5. That's three cans for the price of a double grande mocha frapachino! (hmm apparently Frapachino is not in the dictionary of FireFox) Well I see the car coming toward me and had this overwhelming urge to roll my window down and launch a can at the little car. I had three cans, I could spare one. "Yes Sir," the dudes telling the police officer, "A can of Monster attacked my Red Bull mobile. It dented my six foot can!" One of those cans could do some major damage.
4/8/09
I hate kids my age and how they talk. Well not all of them but the ones that use that awful slang. "Hey dude." "What's up man?" Really, what's that all mean? Dude? Man? It's stupid and sounds like your an idiot. Top reason I hate frat kids.
3/19/09
It's official, I'm a reader. You know, one of those people who sit around and look at pages from a book for an odd amount of time. Yeah I'm one of those guys. I go through about two books a month. Not a whole lot but more than I used to read and definitely more than the average person I think. I refuse to read however, in the privacy of my room, opting to make a solitary act a social outing each time. Because of this, the back seat of my Accord is strewn with books I've read. About a dozen in all, my mobile library outnumbers the collection of school books on my desk at home.
I'd like to think the reason I keep so many books in my car is out of laziness. I'd like to say I just haven't cleaned my car out or sold them yet. That would sound so much better than the actual truth. The real reason, and I think the real reason anyone would call themselves a reader, is that I think lugging around so many books makes me look smarter. "Oh just push War and Peace over, it was my reading last week. Na, just for the fun of it, no class in particular" I enjoy reading. I find myself putting off a lot of things in order to grab a chapter or two. My days off are spent reading books instead of doing homework I should be doing. Don't get me wrong, I don't read to impress anyone. I do however keep the collection in public sight for that reason. I imagine people getting into my car, seeing the growing collection and thinking, "geez he must read a lot" Yes as a matter of fact I do read books. I know aren't I smart.
Now that I think about it, its rather sad actually. Not my thought process. That seems like a normal thing, but rather the fact that reading would make me appear intelligent, or the idea that it would. In a world of reality shows and internet viral videos, reading for fun has achieved a status that reading Latin once only held. The masses watch tv, only a few actually read books. I've started to get the same reaction when I tell someone I'm reading for fun as I give to business majors when they inform me of their career choice. A blank expression accompanied by a one word question..."why?"
I'd like to think the reason I keep so many books in my car is out of laziness. I'd like to say I just haven't cleaned my car out or sold them yet. That would sound so much better than the actual truth. The real reason, and I think the real reason anyone would call themselves a reader, is that I think lugging around so many books makes me look smarter. "Oh just push War and Peace over, it was my reading last week. Na, just for the fun of it, no class in particular" I enjoy reading. I find myself putting off a lot of things in order to grab a chapter or two. My days off are spent reading books instead of doing homework I should be doing. Don't get me wrong, I don't read to impress anyone. I do however keep the collection in public sight for that reason. I imagine people getting into my car, seeing the growing collection and thinking, "geez he must read a lot" Yes as a matter of fact I do read books. I know aren't I smart.
Now that I think about it, its rather sad actually. Not my thought process. That seems like a normal thing, but rather the fact that reading would make me appear intelligent, or the idea that it would. In a world of reality shows and internet viral videos, reading for fun has achieved a status that reading Latin once only held. The masses watch tv, only a few actually read books. I've started to get the same reaction when I tell someone I'm reading for fun as I give to business majors when they inform me of their career choice. A blank expression accompanied by a one word question..."why?"
3/13/09
Ten things to remember when I become a professor:
1. If students are quietly ignoring me, it's not my problem it's theirs.
2. They take time to prepare for the test. I need to take time
preparing for it.
3. Moving a test back isn't always a good thing for students. They
make plans based on the test dates.
4. Students have more than one class.
5. Just because the majority of scores are high doesn't mean the test
was too easy.
6. Books aren't cheap. Use the ones you assign and make it a short list.
7. Love what your teaching. If I stop loving it, it's time to get out.
8. Some students have to be there. Some want to be there. Teach to
those who want to be and forget about the others.
9. Remarks on papers and why you graded the way you did are always a
good thing.
10. The old students are suck ups. They really don't think your a
genious.
Isn't it curious the relationships we make in life. The ones we break early so that we can keep from feeling too much. The ones we keep that hurt us, afraid to be alone and feel nothing. Staying too long, sheltered from the unknown. Those we see walk away, unaware of how hard we pushed them. Jumping from one to another, tasting the excitement of each but unable to savor the emotion that comes with time. Trying and retrying the same ones, in hopes to find something new or different. We make and break relationships throughout our lives. Trying to find the right fits for the right lives. Sometimes crashing into one other, at other times running in opposite directions.
3/11/09
If you know me, then you know I live in San Antonio, the city Mexico
built north of the boarder (and if you don't know me you now know I
live in San Antonio, the city Mexico built north of the boarded). Most
of the time it's like living in any other city in Texas. When you come
across somebody that doesn't speak English you simply exagerate your
expressions, start to yell as though they are deaf, and simply give
them the impression all Americans are loud, stupid idiots.
built north of the boarder (and if you don't know me you now know I
live in San Antonio, the city Mexico built north of the boarded). Most
of the time it's like living in any other city in Texas. When you come
across somebody that doesn't speak English you simply exagerate your
expressions, start to yell as though they are deaf, and simply give
them the impression all Americans are loud, stupid idiots.
One thing I have noticed however, no problem sitting next to a crowd
of talkative "nationals", that's the nice way of saying rich Mexicans,
and quietly reading. I have no clue what they're talking about or what
terroristic plots they're planning. I can sit there reading as they
set up camp around me with hundreds of shopping bags and not mind
their loud, impolite conversation just inches from me.
3/8/09
"Stone, what's on your kitchen table?"
"I don't know, I'm never out here it's probab--...ummm porn?"
Apparently straight guys think nothing of leaving their porn out on the table. On more than one occasion I've come home to find a Penthouse open on in the living room. It's not some Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, we're talking hardcore, black the cover out on the newsstand, porn. Now I don't think they were actually, actively looking at the magazine in the living room, or at least I hope not. *shiver* Probably just the standard, "hey look at this girl dude". I understand, most guys have seen porn, some even own it. I got that. But does it really have to be public reading material. I just always had it in my head that the standard coffee table book had pictures of places you would like to visit or cute babies being confined in weird vegetable looking costumes, not naked girls and guys doing the baby making dance.
Don't worry mom and dad. I broke their habit, one small threat fixed the problem rather fast.
"Who left their porn out here?"
"I don't know, it's not mine."
"Ok, well can we not do that anymore, it's kind of weird"
"I don't see a problem..."
"Well than I'm gunna go buy some magazines and leave them out as well."
"Ha, that's cool man. Go ahead."
"No, I'm going to buy MY kind of porn and leave it out"
"Oh no man, don't do that, I'll talk to them about putting it up"
"Cool thanks"
"I don't know, I'm never out here it's probab--...ummm porn?"
Apparently straight guys think nothing of leaving their porn out on the table. On more than one occasion I've come home to find a Penthouse open on in the living room. It's not some Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition, we're talking hardcore, black the cover out on the newsstand, porn. Now I don't think they were actually, actively looking at the magazine in the living room, or at least I hope not. *shiver* Probably just the standard, "hey look at this girl dude". I understand, most guys have seen porn, some even own it. I got that. But does it really have to be public reading material. I just always had it in my head that the standard coffee table book had pictures of places you would like to visit or cute babies being confined in weird vegetable looking costumes, not naked girls and guys doing the baby making dance.
Don't worry mom and dad. I broke their habit, one small threat fixed the problem rather fast.
"Who left their porn out here?"
"I don't know, it's not mine."
"Ok, well can we not do that anymore, it's kind of weird"
"I don't see a problem..."
"Well than I'm gunna go buy some magazines and leave them out as well."
"Ha, that's cool man. Go ahead."
"No, I'm going to buy MY kind of porn and leave it out"
"Oh no man, don't do that, I'll talk to them about putting it up"
"Cool thanks"
3/6/09
Been mulling over this post for some weeks now, and after that last post I think I should put up something a little more...optimistic? Little heavy and parents or loved ones may not want to read it. Happy thoughts.:-D
I find a lot of people feel pity for those who believe in something other than their own beliefs. In other words, Christians feel pity on all non-Christians, Muslims pray for non believers, and Jews try to show others the right way of living. It's a part of being a believer in something, or nothing. Your right and the rest are wrong. Nothing wrong with that fact, just part of the deal. If someone tries to tell you otherwise they are lying.
With the above holding true, I think us "non-believers" get the brunt of the pity and conversion attempts. People view us as broken in a way or think that somewhere along the way we were let down or hurt by religion in general. In a way this is accurate I guess, we didn't find something we were looking for in religion, so yes we were disappointing or let down. I also think that this is a simplistic explanation. It makes non-believers seem childish, damaged, and basic. We've taken the easy way out. Without rules or a god to dictate our lives, we can do what we want, without worrying about right and wrong or consequences. This is the assumption that I have issue with.
Yes, I don't believe in capital case God. The guy in the sky. Mr. Number One. The Alpha and Omega. I choose not to believe in a god that gives people more than they can handle. I choose not to see a divine reason behind pointless pain and suffering. The prayers that go unanswered and the lives untouched can not simply be the result of a god who knows better, who has a reason for violence, disease, agony, and injustice. In my opinion however, this lack of belief makes life no more easier than leading a life of a believer. Without God, there is no reassurance of peace, or a higher plan. No final judgment for the wicked and no hope of help from above. The world is what it is, and no greater force is at work behind the curtain. At times this is difficult to live with. In times of pain and confusion you want somewhere to turn to. You want someone to call out to and depend on. It would be comforting to know there is a reason and plan for all this b.s. that is going on in the world.
Here's what I do believe in however. I believe that people are good and powerful. That they can be wicked and evil but are just as good at be kind and generous. I believe that they have the power to alter the course of humanity and that the individual can create a storm of change. No prayers are needed for strength, no help from the clouds need be called upon. Within everyone is the power to act and affect the world around them. I chose to aim the credit at those who deserve it. People find will from within, not without. They are molded and formed by those that live among them, on the same plane. I believe that we are here with no set purpose, no predetermined goal or achievement. We get out of life what we chose to pull from it. No life is wasted or unused. How can such descriptions be given without a set purpose. Missed opportunities, sure, but only to take certain paths over others.
The life of one who doesn't believe is not one of simplicity, ease, or cynicism. It comes with the same challenges, joys, and tribulations as any life comes with. Comfort however must be found elsewhere. They must rely on those they share the living experience with. They are not blindly feeling their way in the darkness but rather light their path with a different colored flame. This is not a test, or postponement of things to come, but rather the end game. This is it, the time for action is now, and the time to cherish that around you is firmly in the present.
Yeah I know this isn't the rants or mean remarks. I'm just so tired of that sad look of pity people give when you say you don't believe in what they subscribe to. They try to convert and explain to you how much better their way is. It isn't. We just see things different. Stop feeling bad for us, stop trying to save us. I know it's only because you love us. Well I could say the same to you. Join the dark side, its better over here, its only because I love you.:-p
I find a lot of people feel pity for those who believe in something other than their own beliefs. In other words, Christians feel pity on all non-Christians, Muslims pray for non believers, and Jews try to show others the right way of living. It's a part of being a believer in something, or nothing. Your right and the rest are wrong. Nothing wrong with that fact, just part of the deal. If someone tries to tell you otherwise they are lying.
With the above holding true, I think us "non-believers" get the brunt of the pity and conversion attempts. People view us as broken in a way or think that somewhere along the way we were let down or hurt by religion in general. In a way this is accurate I guess, we didn't find something we were looking for in religion, so yes we were disappointing or let down. I also think that this is a simplistic explanation. It makes non-believers seem childish, damaged, and basic. We've taken the easy way out. Without rules or a god to dictate our lives, we can do what we want, without worrying about right and wrong or consequences. This is the assumption that I have issue with.
Yes, I don't believe in capital case God. The guy in the sky. Mr. Number One. The Alpha and Omega. I choose not to believe in a god that gives people more than they can handle. I choose not to see a divine reason behind pointless pain and suffering. The prayers that go unanswered and the lives untouched can not simply be the result of a god who knows better, who has a reason for violence, disease, agony, and injustice. In my opinion however, this lack of belief makes life no more easier than leading a life of a believer. Without God, there is no reassurance of peace, or a higher plan. No final judgment for the wicked and no hope of help from above. The world is what it is, and no greater force is at work behind the curtain. At times this is difficult to live with. In times of pain and confusion you want somewhere to turn to. You want someone to call out to and depend on. It would be comforting to know there is a reason and plan for all this b.s. that is going on in the world.
Here's what I do believe in however. I believe that people are good and powerful. That they can be wicked and evil but are just as good at be kind and generous. I believe that they have the power to alter the course of humanity and that the individual can create a storm of change. No prayers are needed for strength, no help from the clouds need be called upon. Within everyone is the power to act and affect the world around them. I chose to aim the credit at those who deserve it. People find will from within, not without. They are molded and formed by those that live among them, on the same plane. I believe that we are here with no set purpose, no predetermined goal or achievement. We get out of life what we chose to pull from it. No life is wasted or unused. How can such descriptions be given without a set purpose. Missed opportunities, sure, but only to take certain paths over others.
The life of one who doesn't believe is not one of simplicity, ease, or cynicism. It comes with the same challenges, joys, and tribulations as any life comes with. Comfort however must be found elsewhere. They must rely on those they share the living experience with. They are not blindly feeling their way in the darkness but rather light their path with a different colored flame. This is not a test, or postponement of things to come, but rather the end game. This is it, the time for action is now, and the time to cherish that around you is firmly in the present.
Yeah I know this isn't the rants or mean remarks. I'm just so tired of that sad look of pity people give when you say you don't believe in what they subscribe to. They try to convert and explain to you how much better their way is. It isn't. We just see things different. Stop feeling bad for us, stop trying to save us. I know it's only because you love us. Well I could say the same to you. Join the dark side, its better over here, its only because I love you.:-p
Yes Sir, I do think I'm better than you. I peer at you through this plastered on smile as you run the race for the American Dream. Making endless circles from work and home, desperately trying to grab more crap to make you happy. At home the nanny feeds your 2.5 children their 90 second meals and hurries them along their smaller circular paths. Your wife injects her face with poisons, paints away any stress lines, and pines after the newest fashions, all to appear as something she is not. Yes Sir, you have achieved what everyone yearns for. You have the car, the home, the dog, and the job. What more could you want? The newest greatest slickest whatchamacallit is only a paycheck away. You have it all. You've bought into the very lie that was created for you. Send your children to their private schools, where they are taught and trained to buy, consume, and want. Yes Sir, I'll choose my life over yours any day of the year. Keep your suites, parties, and wealth. I'll keep my lie and you keep yours.
Just sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for some unknown amount
of time. I hate when they don't give you some idea how long you have
to sit in that germ infested room, watching some random show on the
television.
of time. I hate when they don't give you some idea how long you have
to sit in that germ infested room, watching some random show on the
television.
Why do people applaud during cooking shows? I get the excitment during
Iron Chef. That show is intense. But how about Rachel Ray? "I'm just
going to add a litle bit of cheese." "Did you see that Doris? She
added cheese to the casarole. She's a true visionary!" *clap clap
clap* People go wild over every thing she added. Oh and add something
spicy or with alchol and forget it. That's some hardcore epicurian
t.v. going down there.
2/20/09
"Well it's your choice." "If you want to leave you can." "If you don't want to do this..."
How many times have you heard this toward the end of a relationship? The other person refuses to make a decision, determined to make you the one responsible for ending everything. They pick fights with you at every corner and get made when you deny them the argument. I've even know a guy to cheat, trying to force his bf into breaking up with him. WTF? It's like they have already given up on you and just can't find the courage to be the one to end it. You must be the one to walk away and then when you finally cave in they blame you for destroying what you had. Is this really the game that they want to play?
My favorite is when you actually do get broken up with and they then turn around and try to get you back. Not a few days or weeks down the road, but that same night. Why come running back to someone that is so willing to discard you and the relationship? Then they get upset when you refuse to be hurt again by them. It's baffling. Yeah I cared about you before, but you just broke up with me, that changes everything in a split second.
For me, once someone breaks up with me it's all different from that point on. I've gotten back with exes before, and sometimes it's been a good choice, but overall once the choice is made there is no going back. Some see a breakup as a bargaining tool. "We're in a fight? Well I'm breaking up with you, so there." Fights don't have to end in breakups. They're just an argument. But once those words are uttered it send a clear message. "I'm willing to give you up and willing to end our relationship at anytime." That's not the one I want. I want someone that would never think of ending our relationship. Someone that stands beside me even when we are yelling at each other and despite what is being said or what's going on, still cares for me and still feels strong in our relationship.
Grow a pair. Stand strong in a relationship and weather the storms, there will be a few in any pair's lives. When you do decide it's ending, don't make the other be the one to bare the burden. Finally, if you do take that step, live with your decision. You've broken what you had. Yes it can be glued back together but don't get mad when you find your alone.
How many times have you heard this toward the end of a relationship? The other person refuses to make a decision, determined to make you the one responsible for ending everything. They pick fights with you at every corner and get made when you deny them the argument. I've even know a guy to cheat, trying to force his bf into breaking up with him. WTF? It's like they have already given up on you and just can't find the courage to be the one to end it. You must be the one to walk away and then when you finally cave in they blame you for destroying what you had. Is this really the game that they want to play?
My favorite is when you actually do get broken up with and they then turn around and try to get you back. Not a few days or weeks down the road, but that same night. Why come running back to someone that is so willing to discard you and the relationship? Then they get upset when you refuse to be hurt again by them. It's baffling. Yeah I cared about you before, but you just broke up with me, that changes everything in a split second.
For me, once someone breaks up with me it's all different from that point on. I've gotten back with exes before, and sometimes it's been a good choice, but overall once the choice is made there is no going back. Some see a breakup as a bargaining tool. "We're in a fight? Well I'm breaking up with you, so there." Fights don't have to end in breakups. They're just an argument. But once those words are uttered it send a clear message. "I'm willing to give you up and willing to end our relationship at anytime." That's not the one I want. I want someone that would never think of ending our relationship. Someone that stands beside me even when we are yelling at each other and despite what is being said or what's going on, still cares for me and still feels strong in our relationship.
Grow a pair. Stand strong in a relationship and weather the storms, there will be a few in any pair's lives. When you do decide it's ending, don't make the other be the one to bare the burden. Finally, if you do take that step, live with your decision. You've broken what you had. Yes it can be glued back together but don't get mad when you find your alone.
2/18/09
I've been misquoted a few times that I don't believe in love. I believe in love. It's an emotion, an attachment, and a powerful force. I think where the confusion comes from is when people realize that I don't believe it is something mystical. I don't believe in "the one" or some magical love that goes beyond this world we live in. That isn't to say however that I can't love, that I can't spend the rest of my life with one person, or that I am unable to sacrifice for a person I truly love.
Lately I've been hearing the word "love" being thrown around and bastardized. My friends are on the phone and tell their friends they love them. They explain how they still love their exes. They use love as a catch all for caring emotions. That's friendship and compassion. Outside my family there probably is one or two people I truly love. I would sacrifice everything for them, I would take a bullet to protect them and would come running if they called. That's love.
We hear the word love used so flippantly these days. Celebrities fall in and out of love daily. Songs spout out lyrics about love gained, lost, and rediscovered. That's right, I don't believe in that love. I believe in Love that is illogical, uncontrollable, inconvenient, and painful. Love that is not able to be fallin out of and love that is not casual. No I'm not a romantic, I'm just tired of the violation of a word that used to mean so much more.
Lately I've been hearing the word "love" being thrown around and bastardized. My friends are on the phone and tell their friends they love them. They explain how they still love their exes. They use love as a catch all for caring emotions. That's friendship and compassion. Outside my family there probably is one or two people I truly love. I would sacrifice everything for them, I would take a bullet to protect them and would come running if they called. That's love.
We hear the word love used so flippantly these days. Celebrities fall in and out of love daily. Songs spout out lyrics about love gained, lost, and rediscovered. That's right, I don't believe in that love. I believe in Love that is illogical, uncontrollable, inconvenient, and painful. Love that is not able to be fallin out of and love that is not casual. No I'm not a romantic, I'm just tired of the violation of a word that used to mean so much more.
Do kids still play on the sprinklers? Do they know the art of blowing on a game cartridge? How about what a tape deck is, or even a CD? How to compose a actual letter, or send one through the mail? Do they know what a DOS command is? How to crank a pencil sharpener? Finally do they know the rules of Freeze Tag, Red Rover, and Bloody Murder?
I'm not complaining or saying I miss the years of yesterday. Just curious how much of my childhood is still around.
I'm not complaining or saying I miss the years of yesterday. Just curious how much of my childhood is still around.
1/19/09
Don't you hate those math problems where train A leaves at some time and train B leaves thirty minutes later, headed directly for train A? Then you have to figure out when the two will meet and where on the track that will occur, all before they actually do meet and a horrible accident occurs killing all the people on both trains, scattering them across the country side and creating a fireball that can be seen for miles around. What are they doing on the same track anyways, aren't there safe guards against that sort of thing? Well lets do a little math problem.
Boy A likes Boy B. Boy B likes Boy C. Boy C is friends with Boy D and Boy B. Boy D is dating Boy A. Boy A doesn't like Boy C and tells Boy D he can't be friends with Boy C. Boy B is told not to hang out with Boy C by Boy A. Boy C think the whole thing is fucked up, decides Boy A, B and D are all crazy and drops out of the equation. The answer? 33.972
Don't you just love math? :-D
Boy A likes Boy B. Boy B likes Boy C. Boy C is friends with Boy D and Boy B. Boy D is dating Boy A. Boy A doesn't like Boy C and tells Boy D he can't be friends with Boy C. Boy B is told not to hang out with Boy C by Boy A. Boy C think the whole thing is fucked up, decides Boy A, B and D are all crazy and drops out of the equation. The answer? 33.972
Don't you just love math? :-D
1/18/09
I woke up this morning supper pumped. Was having coffee with one of my favorite people. So I get ready and voyage into the wasteland of my living room. If you don't know already, my room is a zone of clean space in an otherwise war ravished apartment. As I'm braving the path through the kitchen I catch a glimpse of the blender. "Mac and cheese?!" It seems for some unknown reason one of my roommates thought it was a good idea to put their Easy Mac in the blender and mix it. Maybe they couldn't find a spoon to stir it or just needed a clean container. Either way there is now yellow chunks of pasta and cheese powder in the blender. Let's just say I don't use the kitchen very often.
I admit it, I watch TCM. I love the old movies. The good guy always gets what he wants, the girl always ends up with the right guy, and everyone lives happily ever after. The movies aren't full of action and big special effects. They don't rely on big budgets. People went to them to see what the world should be like. Everything worked as it should. Some may say they are too simple, but it's that simplicity that makes them grand. They're movies that celebrate what movies should be and what actors were originally. The story relies on talent. It's about the story and the art. Too few of today's films can still be called art. No movie fan can claim such title if they are unable to answer the question of Rosebud, yell "No wire hangers!", or sleep with a horse head.
1/14/09
Yeah we're a week into the new year but for me it starts now. Spent the holidays in San Antonio doing what I do. Few parties here and there, work all the time, and only a few core friends still in town. Was a long ass couple of months though. The new year has begun and with it a chance at a fresh start. The holidays are over, all the junk has been taken out with the trash and we get to start with a clean slate. Sadly for me that means a lot of the old friends are gone. They either moved away physically or emotionally. Yes, I gave one or two a swift kick out the door. That's the great thing about life though, you always have the option to hit the reset button. Some may say that as you get older that really isn't an option anymore, not true, you just have to pay a little more when you do. Maybe you lose a few connections like me, or step on a few toes. No matter the cost, the option is always there. It's time to reset. Be the person I want to be, have the people I want in my life, and do the things I hope to do.
1/10/09
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