On the way to class

Oh kid next to me on the bus, are you retarded? You have a drool stain on your collar from last night. The stupid grin you wear won't go away. This language you slur is new to me. What do those hand signs mean? Are you having a seizure? Someone get help! Stop the bus! 911! Oh wait, your in a frat. Nevermind. False alarm.
--------------------
Sprint PCS Mail

Cell Free Zone

I think we can all agree that some places deserve to be cell phone free. Libraries, churches, movie theaters, sleep clinics; the basic quiet zones. Lets, as a collective society, add bathrooms to that list. I know some of you might be thinking, "what's wrong with the bathroom? It's a quiet place, out of the way, where I won't disturb anyone." In a way I guess your right. Nobody actually needs the bathroom to be quiet. Not like washing your hands requires your complete undivided attention, attention that will be lost if someone is hanging out talking to a business associate while doing their business. But lets really think about what your doing here. Your having a polite, often times formal, conversation while a few feet away someone is performing a rather private act. I don't know about you but I don't want to be standing at a urinal with some guy yakking next to me. Oh and the best is when they are taking care of nature's call while on the phone. Does the person on the other end know why your voice has an echo to it all of a sudden? "Sorry Jim, did you just enter a cave?"

I know you ladies may feel very differently about this. You girls go in groups and turn the act into a social event. Sometimes it seems right up there with tea parties and showers. "We really don't see enough of each other Sandy. Why don't we meet up at the bathroom on the third floor? Five o'clock good for you? All right it's a date." I know for a fact that some ladies rooms have couches and complete sitting areas. Yes I've seen them... I've come to accept that no women can go to the powder room alone. At least three must enter together. Women have taken the buddy system to a level men will never achieve. Just do everyone a favor and leave the cell phones in the bags.

So here's the proposal, to both sexes. Leave the cell phone talk out of the bathrooms. It makes for an uncomfortable situation for those around you and is kind of creepy. I assure you, if the person your talking to knew where you were they would agree with me completely. Oh and don't forget to wash your hands...WITH SOAP!

Pass it Back

A quick note to those of you in the classroom... When passing papers, pass them to the person behind you. Don't go sideways to your buddy in another aisle or get up and hand it to someone across the room. We've been doing this for over 12 years now, you would think people would have it down. Really it's a simple concept. Apparently the simplest things are the hardest for some people to understand and execute. That's what you get I guess for assuming college students know how to pass papers out.