Last Month's Theme at 8:06 PM

I would never wish to be straight or "normal". I've learned so much about myself and the world being who I am and how I was born. The flip side to that however is that I would never wish my children to be gay. Like all parents I would want the easiest life for them, totally lacking in hurdles and heartache. There are much easier ways to learn acceptance and strength.

I had a coworker tell me the other day that her friend is having real trouble after her son came out to her. The mother is worried about her son's well being and happiness. She's heard about drugs and dangers that are present in the community and doesn't want that kind of life for her child. There wasn't much I could say against what she has heard. It's one of the few statistics that the Family Research Foundation uses, that I can't object to. It is true. Homosexuals are at higher risk of suicide and drug use. Gay youths are four times more likely to kill themselves than their hetero counterparts. There's no getting around the numbers. The problem is when these dangers are contributed to homosexuality and not the prejudices and stresses the larger public puts on the minority group. Yes, it is much harder to be gay in America than it is to be straight. A loving, supportive family can go a long way in reducing these percentages.

I truly am proud to be gay. I don't carry a rainbow banner or march in parades with glitter in my hair. But I have no problem with being a queer. There are rough parts however. It's a unnerving feeling to know that people truly hate you, people you don't even know. They hate you with great honesty and passion. Nothing I have done in the past has created this hatred and nothing in the future will ease the feeling in many cases. They believe with their whole heart that I am a horrible being. The even harder part is when you realize that these people are good men and women. "They want me to burn in hell? No big, they suck." That's easy. When you start seeing them as good human beings, is when your heart starts to twinge. They were raised a certain way or have experienced the world from an point of view that has set them down a certain path. They believe in my immorality just as much as I believe in the air I breath.

I would never wish my children to have people hate them for such a reason. Or for them to always be mindful of where they are and who they are with. To sometimes walk in public a few steps behind the one they love. To pretend they aren't dating someone when asked in certain company. To have people assume they are a certain way because of one trait. I never want them to have to defend who they are to strangers or have strangers feel justified to pry into their lives.

There are so many discussions I am fine having with people, but I would never want my children to have. A family member once asked me why gays and lesbians have to make their sexuality into a lifestyle; why does it have to be such a big deal to them. We don't. The rest of the world makes it a big deal and a lifestyle, we just react to the society we live in.